


This Shit Is Weird - The Amazing Adventures of Gray Lavellan

by GingerAnn



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Fluff, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2018-09-17 06:08:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 2,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9308702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GingerAnn/pseuds/GingerAnn
Summary: Just a collection of one-shots featuring my Inquisitor, Gray Lavellan





	1. Introduction

This is just a collection of one-shots centering around my Inquisitor, Gray Lavellan.

Gray is a rogue and archer. 

Elf, obviously.

He romanced Dorian. Yes, I did name him Gray just to make Dorian Gray jokes...

Sided with the mages.

Gray thinks his greatest achievement as Inquisitor was recruiting a bear. 

Spoilers for the game, including the DLCs.


	2. After You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gray doesn't like caves.

The four of them - Gray, Cassandra, Varric and Solas - approached a cave in the Hinterlands.

"After you, ser dwarf," Gray said looking at Varric.

"Not all dwarves enjoy spending time in caves," Varric said to the elf.

"Damn. I suppose I'll go first, then," Gray said.

"Our fearless leader," Varric said with a grin.

"I'm an elf. Elves are supposed to frolic in meadows, not crawl around in caves," Gray replied. "I hope there aren't spiders in here. I hate spiders."


	3. Staying In Bed

"Are you going to spend the whole morning in bed?" Dorian asked setting a small tray of food on the bedside table.

"Why not? We saved Thedas. Had a party. I think I deserve a morning in bed," Gray replied. He took a piece of fruit from the tray, chewing on it, he continued, "Maybe I'll stay here all day. If I can convince a certain Tevinter mage to join me."

"You're going to have to make that food last. I'm not fetching anymore," Dorian said with a smile.

"That's what you're focusing on. The food?"

"At least until I'm undressed," Dorian replied leaning over to kiss Gray.


	4. A Surprise for Dorian

Gray found Dorian in his usual chair in the library.

"It took you long enough to visit," Dorian said with a small grin. He set the book he was reading on the window sill.

"I went to the kitchens and took a wrong turn. Come on, I want to show you something," Gray said tugging on Dorian's arm.

"Oh, I'm all a-tingle," Dorian laughed.

Gray guided Dorian through some hallways and down some stairs. Finally, Gray stopped in a library. It was a small library and it looked as though no one had been there in years. There was a thick layer of dust on everything and cobwebs all over the place.

"I didn't look to see what was all in here, but I thought you would appreciate it," Gray said.

Dorian walked along the shelves, looking at the book titles.

"I love it, Amatus," he said smiling at the other man.

Gray's face lit up as he smiled.


	5. Damn Caves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place during the Descent DLC. No real spoilers. Unless no one was aware that Gray hates caves...

The cavern got darker.

"Something moved over there!" Valta said.

Gray pulled his bow out and had an arrow ready within seconds. As soon as he stopped moving a hand grabbed his right wrist.

"Dorian? Is that you?" He asked.

"Well, it's certainly not Varric trying to hold your hand," Dorian replied from the same side.

"Oh. Well, now I'm disappointed. I want to hold Varric's hand," Gray said.

"My hands are a little busy with Bianca right now," Varric's voice said from behind them. "You two tough guys will have to protect each other."

"I vote that Cassandra protects us," Gray said. He trying to ignore what he was pretty sure were glowing eyes in the dark. They were everywhere it seemed.

"I vote for that as well," Dorian agreed.

"I'm with you two. Seeker, you'll have to protect us manly men from the dark and scary cave," Varric said.

"You three are like children," Cassandra said from Gray's left. Gray didn't need to see to tell that she was smiling.

"I thought the Inquisition was serious business," Renn said.

"The Inquisition is. The Inquisitor, less so," Cassandra said.

"Cassandra, we've talked about this. I'm an elf. I'm supposed to be frolicking naked in a meadow somewhere, not in some dank dark cave," Gray said.

"After this, we are finding a meadow," Dorian said.

"Count me out of that adventure," Varric said.

"Me, as well," Cassandra said.


	6. Gray Needs Some Air

"Time to wake up, Sparkler," Varric called. 

They were heading back to Haven from Redcliffe. Everyone was waking up and getting ready to continue traveling. 

There was a groan from inside the tent.

"I believe that was an 'I'll be right out' groan," Gray said with a smile. He had just returned from checking in with the Inquisition soldiers and the mages. He was now sitting next to Varric on a log.

"I'll believe it when I see it," Varric said.

Dorian surprised everyone by crawling out of the tent less than a minute later. His hair was a mess and was just wearing a pair of pants.

"Ugh. I hurt in places I didn't even know existed," the Tevinter said as he stretched.

Varric heard a squeak from beside him. He looked over to the Herald, who's eyes were wide and mouth hanging open. He was frozen as he stared at Dorian.

Varric chuckled and shook his head. Gray didn't move.

"Herald, are you well?" Cassandra asked.

"Yes! Yes! I'm fine! I just... I... Fresh air! I need some fresh air!" Gray said jumping up. He rushed away from their camp.

"Does he not realize that we are surrounded by fresh air?" Dorian asked.

"He's had a stressful few days, give him a break," Varric said.


	7. Kissy Eyes

Gray stopped at the book shop in Val Royeaux.

"Dorian, can you see if any of those aren't at Skyhold?" He asked.

"Of course," Dorian replied as he began scanning the shelves.

The other three stood off to the side of the shop as the mage looked.

"Don't you know what books are in your fortress, Boss?" Bull asked.

"Not all of them. Not yet at least. And Dorian spends more time in the library than I do," Gray replied.

"Well, maybe if you didn't spend all your time in there making kissy eyes at Dorian, you would know what books are there," Sera said.

"Kissy eyes?" Gray questioned.

"You know, eyes that say 'Kiss me, Dorian! Kiss me now!'" Sera said.

"I purchased what we didn't have," Dorian said. "And he doesn't make kissy eyes at me. He makes 'take me, take me now' eyes at me."

"Those are the same eyes," Sera said sticking her tongue out at Dorian.


	8. Blankets

Dorian woke up cold. He rolled over in the bed trying to find a blanket.

He found all the blankets cocooned around Gray. All Dorian could see of the elf was the top of his head.

“Amatus,” Dorian whispered trying to find an end to at least one of the blankets.

“Mmm?” Gray hummed.

“I’m cold and you stole all the blankets.”

Gray lifted an arm, and with it, the blankets.

Dorian moved so he was pressed up against the other man.

“Better?” Gray asked putting his arm back down, wrapping it around Dorian.

“So much,” Dorian replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me on Tumblr: http://gingerann.tumblr.com/


	9. Ugh. Spiders.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gray really doesn't like spiders.

Gray stood at the mouth of the cave.

“Are we just going to stand here?” Bull asked.

“There are spiders in there. I can hear them,” Gray said.

“Would you prefer a cave full of bears?” Dorian asked.

“I would. A bear will just kill you and eat you. Spiders can poison you. And all those legs. And the webs. Ugh,” Gray said with a shiver.

“We’ll protect you from the evil spiders,” Varric said. “And by ‘we’ I mean Bull.”

"Why me?" Bull asked.

"You're bigger," Varric said.

"You're not wrong there," Bull said with a shrug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me on Tumblr: http://gingerann.tumblr.com/


	10. Touch the Clouds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a short thing about Gray and his father.

Gray loved to climb. 

When he was a child he said that someday he would climb high enough to touch the clouds. That earned him some teasing from the other elf children. 

That teasing wasn’t as bad as what he got when years later, the other children found out that Gray preferred boys to girls. 

They shunned him. 

Called him names. 

Some of the adults in the clan told his father when they found out. Gray feared the worst. But Galen just shrugged and said his son was how the Creators made him. 

His father then began taking Gray out on hunting trips. Something the other children his age didn’t get to do. They had to wait a few more years and keep practicing with the dulled swords and arrows with blunted tips. He quickly became one of the best hunters in the clan. Everyone forgetting that years previously they had bullied him. 

Everyone but Gray and his father. 

Who liked to climb trees with his son and try to reach the clouds.


	11. Ouch

Gray opened his eyes slowly. He hurt all over, which really wasn’t that unusual anymore. He could see the sky. And some trees. And Dorian’s face as it appeared in front of his eyes.

“Hello,” Gray said smiling at the mage. 

“Be still,” Dorian muttered.

“What hit me?” Gray groaned.

“The ground. Again,” Dorian said.

“Am I going to get another lecture about climbing trees?”

“Yes. Later, though.”

“Oh good. I have a headache and don’t feel like a lecture,” Gray said smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on Tumblr: http://gingerann.tumblr.com/


	12. In The Fade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gray and company end up in the Fade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is more focused on my Alaric Hawke character than Gray, but as Gray does have a bit of an appearance I felt I should post it here as well. For anyone that hasn't read my Alaric Hawke stuff, he's a carefree, sarcastic and snarky guy. Also, very protective of Bethany and Fenris.

“Fenris and Bethany will die. Just like the rest of your family,” the demon said.

“Of course a fear demon will know just what to say to hurt us. We must ignore it,” Alaric said gripping his bow tighter.

“How’s that working for you, Hawke?” Varric asked.

“I’m going to rip this son of a bitch to pieces and make Corphyeus eat the fucking pieces,” Alaric growled.

The others slowly turned to look at the archer. The Inquisitor - Gray - and Tevinter - Dorian - looked terrified. The qunari - Iron Bull - looked almost giddy. Varric was just grinning at his friend.

“Do I have something on my face?” Alaric asked.

“Just a smidge of terrifying anger,” Dorian replied. 

“You should see him when he’s really angry,” Varric said. 

“This is him not angry?” Gray asked.

“Just slightly annoyed so far,” Varric said. “Right Hawke?”

“Right, Varric,” Alaric replied. 

“Where are Broody and Sunshine? I’m surprised they weren’t in the thick of it with you,” Varric said.

“Well, by now they probably realized I left the inn...” Alaric trailed off.

“Wait! You snuck out?!” Varric asked. 

“I left a note!” Alaric said.

“Oh, yeah. That will calm Broody down. ‘Oh, Hawke went off to fight demons without me. It’s fine, though, he left a note.’ He is going to kill you if this demon doesn’t,” Varric said.

"I'm a dead man," Alaric groaned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is also posted on my Alaric Hawke stories. You can read those if you want to read more of his adventures.
> 
> Come find me on Tumblr: http://gingerann.tumblr.com/


	13. Out of the Fade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gray comes out of the Fade to watch as Alaric Hawke deals with his angry lover.

Gray was walking with Alaric Hawke as they discussed Hawke’s plans.

“Uh-oh,” Varric said from Hawke’s side.

“What... oh. I’m in trouble,” Alaric said looking to where Varric was staring. 

Gray looked to see an elf with white hair wearing black armor and carrying a sword on his back as big as he was. Beside him was a human woman with long dark hair wearing mage armor and carrying a staff. The elf was pacing while the woman watched everyone with a cautious eye.

“Broody! Sunshine! What brings you all the way out here?” Varric called to them. 

“Thanks, Varric,” Alaric muttered.

“You know very well why we’re here,” the elf replied stomping over to where Alaric was standing.

“Hello, love,” Alaric said with a small smile.

“Don’t you ‘hello, love’ me. You left,” the elf said.

“Fenris, we’ve talked about this. Greeting people is polite and I can’t not love you,” Alaric said. “Fenris, Bethany, this is the Inquisitor, Gray. And two of his team, Dorian, and Iron Bull. Everyone, this is Fenris and Bethany.”

“Don’t change the subject,” Fenris said.

“Hello,” Bethany said to the small group surrounding them.

Fenris removed his gloves and began poking and prodding Alaric. Bethany took the gauntlets with an amused smile before walking closer to Varric.

“I’m okay, Fen,” Alaric said. 

“Stupid man,” Fenris muttered, not stopping. 

“I am,” Alaric said. “So incredibly stupid. I only hope you will still love me even though I am just full of stupidity.”

“What were you thinking? Leaving us behind?” Fenris asked. 

Alaric didn’t say anything. Just stood there as Fenris continued to check him for injuries.

“And then we get here and they say you fell into the Fade. The Fade, Hawke,” Fenris said.

“I know. I was there,” Alaric said.

Fenris began muttering in Tevene.

“What is he saying?” Gray whispered the question to Dorian.

“Mostly just calling Hawke an ass. Declarations of love. Threats to tie Hawke to the bed at night. Which sounds kinky,” Dorian replied with a grin. Gray rolled his eyes but smiled at the mage.

“Does Hawke speak Tevene?” Gray asked.

“He doesn’t. Though he is learning a few words,” Bethany replied. “Which means Fenris has been using qunlat to yell at him more.”

“It seems you are not seriously injured,” Fenris said stepping back from Alaric.

“Do I get a kiss now?” Alaric asked with a grin.

“You foolish man,” Fenris said before obliging his lover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also posted with my Alaric Hawke stuff.
> 
> Come find me on Tumblr: http://gingerann.tumblr.com/

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr: http://gingerann.tumblr.com/


End file.
